Yesterday I went to pick up the Springsteen tickets (I had to bring exact cash to a little room at 30 Rock) and then I walked down, in the rain, to the Screw Magazine offices to hang with Al Goldstein. Al was a free speech hero of mine and, well, I guess we've been friends for 10 years now. When I got there, he was doing a Midnight Blue interview with a woman named Tammy Faye Starlite, who is a pornstar for christ. She was ranting about hating the jews. They, of course, pushed me into the room and I was on camera. I started arguing with this nut in lingerie until she made it clear to me that it was a gag. It took me a while to catch on. Well, maybe I never did catch on because she had to tell me outright that she was a friend of Kramer's and she had been to my apartment.

So, I talked about Kramer, and Atheism, and rock and roll, and Al tried to grab her and get her to take her clothes off. On Midnight Blue the camera just keeps running. Between attempts to get her top off, Al asked me questions about the show and raved about it (MidNight Blue sure sells tickets). He said he LOVED the Flag but didn't like that I didn't mention names in Polyester. I explained why and he did a whole rant about Uri Geller, begging Uri to sue him. I guess he's going to write an editorial too. Al's a nut.

They were very happy with the interview. They thought I was funny, and she finally dropped her top for a second. That's a success at Midnight Blue. It really was fun. I'm not sure it's the choice that Krasher and Jackie would have made, but I had fun doing it.

The rest of the afternoon, I spent in Al's incredibly cluttered office. I sat while he was on the phone trying to get cheap flights, cheap CDs, and make dates with young women. That's his life. I did pick up a lighter on his desk and play with it after a while and it made him crazy. He hates having his stuff touched. I felt bad, but he forgave me. I also got to pick some Screw headlines and just had a chance to talk to Al.

He said that I was intellectually arrogant but the smartest person he ever met (I told him well, I had some people he should meet). He told me that I was the least ethnic person he had ever met, which I thought was funny, and probably actually true this time. He also said that I wasn't a hedonist. I didn't like to be touched, great food was wasted on me, I didn't smoke or drink. He said that real Atheists are supposed to be alcoholics and it just wasn't right. He said that I live in my head too much. He said I was a Spartan, some sort of weird puritan. It's so funny; all the time spent with Al is one side or the other of psychoanalysis. He's so funny and open and wonderful. We had a great time. We talked about the deep loneliness of losing our parents. We talked for a long time about that. He said that he was so lonely the year after that he married that psycho wife of his that hated me. It was nice to talk about the loneliness.

I like Al. So, NYC people, watch for me on Midnight Blue (I have to tell you to watch Conan, but I'm sure you watch Midnight Blue anyway).

Penn

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