| Just Shoot Porno Directing Penn - 12/08/00
Teller is in Philly, and I'm in LA to do a benefit, so why not do a
situation comedy. They wanted me on "Just Shoot Me," so,
that's where I went. I was playing the part of a porno
director. It's amazing how little I have to stretch to look
like a porno director. As a matter of fact, I did no hair
and no makeup. I went in the trailer and said that I didn't
think I needed anything, and they agreed. So, I had my hair
messy and no makeup. Wendie Malick commented on how sleazy
I looked. I said it was the way I walked in. David Spade
said I looked like a scumball and I had to tell him that
this was me too.
Wendie was still talking about how great Jamy treated her on
Sincity Spectacular and she was messing with me a lot. I
had fun with her. David Spade was talking about getting hit
with the Tazor and he was really nice and pleasant too. We
talked about the Rio because he just worked there, and
Teller and I are going to. There was an actor named Enrico
and he was really nice and fun to talk to. I loved seeing
George Seagal. I think he's so funny and such a great
actor. We talked about Buck Henry and Carrie Fisher and the
InterNet and Vegas. He's a great guy. Those are the people
on the real show. Those are the stars. The feel of the set
was wonderful. This woman named Pam was directing and she
was just calm and smart. Very easy going and hard working.
Everyone at the show was wonderful. There seems to be no
psychodrama at all, just a nice place to work.
I was directing a porno movie within the situation comedy,
and I had my cast. They had gotten a buxom brunette wearing
a towel. She was really set on people not thinking she was
real porno. I was proud that people thought I looked real
porno. And the rest of the people were real porno. Hershel
Savage played the lead porno guy. He was great. Man, he
was funny. It was really cool casting to use him. Provenz
came to the set to visit and we had a lot of fun talking to
the porno guys. Hershel was carrying around pictures ripped
out of a magazine of a woman that's going to break his
heart. She's in porno (so they were very good pictures) and
it was really funny to see him so taken with a co-star.
Ron Jeremy told me that he was supposed to have my part, but
then they got me, and they pushed him down to the part of
the Camera Man, with no lines. He wasn't happy about that,
but he seemed happy to see me. I guess I have to face the
fact that I'm interchangeable with Ron Jeremy. I guess
that's a good thing in some ways, but we had the same hair,
and sadly, the same vibe.
It was a funny scene and fun to do. I had about 4 lines,
and since I was the director, I had to have a script in my
hand, right? I mean, directors carry scripts, right? And
I'm not a good enough actor that having the script to the
imaginary porno would have given me any method help, so . .
. well, I was carrying the script to the situation comedy we
were doing. It's nice to be following along in the script
while you're doing the scene. It's makes playing a director
a really good thing. The show has got very funny writers,
and I had funny lines. All I really had to do was say them,
and the work was done. I'm telling you, Hershel was really
funny, and I give JSM a lot of credit for having Ron Jeremy
there. It makes it pretty hip.
Because the show is so full of pros and so well done, there
aren't any good stories. I had lots of fun with Wendie. We
joked and talked the whole time, and it was nice to meet
David Spade, and see George again (man, I love him), but
most of my time was talking to the porno people.
So, if you see the show, I'm unshaven and look pretty
sleazy. Which means I really look like myself. For those
of you that know me off stage, it's going to look like I
just walked in from the Slammer. Watch the script in my
hand closely and see if you can tell I'm just reading the
script to the show that we're doing.
It was a fun day of situation comedy with porno people.