This morning I was in my office writing and I headed out to workout. As I came out of my office there was the biggest thing in the world in my fishpond. Man. It was like a dinosaur. A goddamn pterodactyl. It was a blue heron that was feeding on my fish. Man, it was big. Stupid big. The wingspan looked like the whole pond. He wasn't flying away like a scared bird he was flying away like a big thing that was irritated. And he didn't fly far away. Man, he just perched on the fence. The fence looked too small for him. He looked at me. He finally moved into the desert and he was just walking around waiting for me to split, I suppose. Rat bastard. I have 2 fish left in my pond. Good things the frogs are hibernating. I called Blaire, who works at the Slammer for me and we watched him through my Dad's binoculars. Blaire commented, "He's really big." Yeah. He flew away and Blaire gasped. Yup, he's big. He was circling around. He's going to wait until we're gone and eat more fish. Rat bastard. I have a BB gun. I think it's about a 25 grand fine for shooting one. But, that's okay; I hear they taste like albatross.

Penn

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